Eliza in Progress

My husband was assigned to give a talk to our congregation on Mother's day and I've thought a lot about the approach he could take as it's such a loaded topic and ripe with ways to offend and hurt.  I didn't use to understand this tension and guilt surrounding Mother's day when I was younger and even in early motherhood because I happened to enjoy it and felt like I was pretty good at it (future self: "Bwahaha!")  Then middle childhood happened. and those feelings of confidence went down as fast my kids grew up.  I now understand the complex emotions that happen as you hear about perfect women who never yelled, or of a mom that made warm chocolate chip cookies for the neighborhood every Friday or of a mom that actually did the elf on the shelf every flippin night.  When you're sitting there listening to the shiny and polished versions of motherhood and replaying your morning where you may have yelled "Get in the car! Are you kidding me?  You c...

I've been very open here and elsewhere about my journey  (that word is forever ruined by the "Bachelor" contestants and every other reality tv star, but I literally googled synonyms and couldn't find a good one, so the bachelorettes and I are just goin' with it)  journey through depression.  I really have struggled with varying degrees of depression since as long as I can remember.  I've read dozens of books, researched for hours online, tried every natural and modern medicine approach and have spent many hours with therapists.  But it wasn't until one day in a therapy session with my amazing therapist (btw, it's taken a lot of time to find the right fit, so don't give up on therapy, just find a good one)  that really changed my life.  She was able to see through all my efforts for what it was; shame.  I have always been so keenly embarrassed and self-conscious about my depression.  I felt so so stupid and wimpy and just wrong that ...